Working from home has it’s perks. You get to roll out of bed, slip on your house shoes, stumble downstairs and make yourself a coffee—all without the worry of making it somewhere on time. You can sit outside in the crisp springtime air and meditate with your thoughts and say your daily prayers. There’s almost nothing better than the feeling of a slow morning. Over the course of the past few years the connection I’ve had with others has been quite minimal.
It’s been a strange dynamic of wanting to reach out and connect, but also the effort it takes to get out of one’s comfort zone to try and ‘be social’. Society has been so sick that ‘being social’ becomes a bit of a chore. It’s hard to handle, and for good reason people have wanted to curl up in a ball and retire from the outside world all together. I have seen this around on the internet, heard it from others and mainly just experienced it myself first hand. Before remote work was the norm I felt like I was a cog in the machine and the machine was so full of crud that it made it hard to breathe. I woke up, rushed to shower, rushed to the park for our early morning dog walk and then sped as fast as I could to beat the ever-ticking time-clock. Time never stood still, it never slowed down and it was a never-ending race to nowhere in particular. With all this said, I do believe that whenever the opportunity arises to meet up in person and with good reason, mustering the courage and effort to do so can be a breath of fresh air.
These past couple months I have felt a deep inner itch that was pushing me to connect with others. When one could be considered an outsider in town, you have to work even harder to do this—but it can be done. I would venture to say that launching our soap business was a direct product of our deep natural desire for human connection. Having a business means you can go out in public and sell at fairs, ask brick and mortars to allow your product to sit on their shelf and even send packages. You find others that are doing these same sorts of things along the way, and you end up creating a cohort of local small business owners. It’s so wonderful to belong, isn’t it? But, as everything is in a smaller community, people have their friends, their families and even their place of employment. Not everyone works from home, so a quick lunch to catch up isn’t always feasible either. It can at times feel quite isolating, indeed.
All of these feelings of isolation seemed to dissipate this past week whenever our company met in person for the first time in five years. Sure, there was some interesting babying going on from the moderator who wanted to ensure we were able to keep up with such a jam-packed and rapid activity line-up, but mostly it was very positive. I met people who live in other parts of the country that I wouldn’t have met otherwise and had some interesting conversations, however briefly, about simple things that are generally relatable to everyone. One thing that stood out to me overall was the demeanor and vibration of our collective whole. The managerial staff, who used to mimic the behavior of the previous stuffy CEO, had now lightened up to a degree of great notice. She no longer stopped our conversations, destroyed ideas in their infancy or questioned what we brought to the table. These are the fruits of the new leadership that is now being reflected in middle management, and I’m here for it.
Our organization is broken up into departments and then into sub departments within departments. This time, the heart of our organization were the only ones called to meet in person—what a relief that was, if I’m being totally honest. To me, I see other departments outside of ours as being more administrative and without the knowledge of our organization’s core function they seem to live in la la land about how the cookie gets made—they just know the cookie gets made is all. With that said, mixing with what we’d call ‘operations’ can be quite strange. Anyhow, I digress.
One reoccurring theme I noticed in my direct conversations with various colleagues was this secret desire to leave it all behind. There was something in the air that, even though this meeting is nice and quite lovely and the job and place of work is more or less easygoing—it just wasn’t enough. People seemed to hint at their longterm goals and looked to me for the same. I would say they’re not far off. I was somehow confided in by total strangers who want to drastically change their life. They wanted to buy land, a house, have children and leave the workforce altogether. I can’t tell you how many times this came up in conversation—even with people recently hired. I actually almost couldn’t believe my ears seeing as most of us don’t know one another due to them being hired remotely and never having worked in the office, but this seemed to also give them a free pass and approach the conversation without baggage. It felt like we were at some school function just getting to know our classmates and feeling out our place in the world. I, for one, relished in the feeling of anonymity. That feeling when no one knows you and you can sort of reinvent yourself to a degree—not that I was inauthentic, quite the opposite, I felt more like myself than I have in years.
The previous CEO built a culture of tension, blockages and unnecessary petty strife. Being under her umbrella, we were all subjected to it in one way or another. Like I said above, leadership matters. These traumatic feelings seem to linger amongst many staff members, myself included. But, having watched what seemed to be a complete 180 in the middle management’s attitude towards the things she cannot control, I was pleasantly surprised.
I have often wondered what others are thinking. I wonder if I’m the only one plotting three steps ahead, dreaming about a future where I can work for myself doing whatever feels right for me and earning what I need to be comfortable and feel nourished. I finally realize that so many people my age are pondering the same. It’s one thing to see it on the internet and say, “Hey, yea, there are others out there like me” and another to feel that amongst your peers. There is definitely an internal shift happening at a rate of which we cannot even begin to fathom and so many of us are looking at our lives, taking stock and planning our next moves that will lead to personal freedom—whatever that looks like on the individual level.
I wonder how many others out there have noticed this in their personal lives. Now that I have experienced it firsthand and on multiple occasions, I’m quite sure I’m not the only one. What I’ll say in closing is that good things take time and methodical planning. Nothing happens overnight and whatever is right for you will come to you in divine right timing. Now that I’ve connected with others on the same path as me in real life, I feel just that much more affirmed in the path that lies ahead. Who knows what the future will bring and when, but until then I shall keep myself balanced, calm, collected and when the time is right to make a change, I shall surely do just that.
To all of you out there that are in the same boat as me, I say keep going. The beginning is near.
Until next time, Godspeed.
-Amy